Well do you? Did you? When I first read this book, this first chapter, it was a huge sigh of relief! I realized that I wasn't the only one in this universe who felt like my prince turned into a frog. When we are engaged and so in love, everyone of us think... "Our marriage is going to be different than all the others" "My guy really is the best thing ever" No one can explain marriage until you are married. "Love will get us through everything" "We are just so in love" I remember thinking all of these things. I have to remind myself, more than I like to admit, that love is a feeling and a CHOICE! The book nails it on the head, "Her expectations for her husband were unrealistic." We very easily go from, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to "WHAT HAVE I DONE!" "I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!" I thought the circus quote on page 7 was funny and pretty much sums marriage up :)
Not giving up! Weather you have been married months or decades, we have to decide NOT to give up! The fairy tales that we have in our heads have to end so that our true love may begin.
When I first read this book it was shortly after Adrian and I decided together that we were going to make our marriage work. I had many, MANY moments when I went to pick up the book and thought I REALLY don't want to find the hero. I would much rather just keep seeing him the way I see him so I can continue to blame him. He has ruined my life, ( I was to blame too :) he should be reading a book about treating me like a princess should be treated. "Now she has a choice: to respond in anger to his weakness, or to invest with faith in his strength." I am so encouraged to be reading this book again with all of you. I know that no matter where you are in your marriage that this book will help each of us in AWESOME ways.
I am going to post a few questions just as a jumping board for your responses, don't feel like you have to answer all of them! I have been candid in this post, as I will continue to be, and the questions reflect that.
1. Did you feel like me and the ladies in the book that after you got married "Your fairy tale had ended or started in devistation??
2. Have you ever had one of those "the grass is greener..." moments?
3. Have you ever looked at someone else's marriage and thought, "Man, she has it all."
4. How do you feel about the concept of finding the hero in your husband?
Please check back even after you post cause you might have a response to someone elses or they may respond to yours!
I hope you all have a ROCKIN' Day! :)
Off to the parade for us!
Britanie
I do not think I every really felt I was in a fairy tale. I do however felt things change drastically once we got comfortable with each other.
ReplyDelete2. I don't think I ever has a true grass is green mentality. I will say that sometimes when I feel I'm upset with my husband or his actions I tend to say will it could be worse which helps me to keep my grass lookin' a lil' green!
3. I do tend to look at other marriages and what things such as a spiritual connection with my spouse. I want to be able to say we are invested in the same things, have the same beliefs, and that we are consumed by the Holy Spirit! Other than that it's the only yearning I get from other couples...
4.I am absolutely thrilled about finding my husbands hero! I am so ready for change in myself, and yes it seems lately I have taken a whole new aspect that I am the one who has to be willing to change so he can see that in me! I am ready to be the example!!!
1. I had hoped that we'd love each other forever because I truly believed we could. I haven't been married long so not much has really had time to change too much. I think my wishes were realistic enough, somethings were not realistic though. I kind of wanted the picture perfect, obviously it is not like that.
ReplyDelete2. I don't have much disappointment. I am happy with my husband, however sometimes since it is not picture perfect I become angry and he has no idea what is wrong.
3. I want to find the hero in him. He needs to feel like he "wears the pants" i feel he doesn't have much self confidence in himself and i am not quite sure how to do that. Im quite interested in what this book holds.
I feel like pretty much everything that was said in this book applied to me. Unfortunately for me I was stubborn and learned the hard way and like many marriages today I allowed mine to completely fall and gave up. As I read each page I could only think of what I could have done to save my marriage but I wasn't any close to a place to even want to do it. Being a single woman now I find it so important to not EVER make this mistake again. To know that no matter what the vowes that I take again I will truly mean no matter what and that even though "life" will be thrown at me again and troubles will come, there is always something that I can do and that it starts with me.
ReplyDeleteMizorbey, this book is so right! I am also reading the power of prayer, and these books are so on target by saying we have to start in ourselves! So often in this marriage I would pray for change but for my husband of course!!! Apparently thats not what needs changing! I have so started to see the difference in my actions. Boy do my actions have a lot to do with how arguements play out! I am so thankful and open to the change!
ReplyDeleteWho knows maybe the next time around you will have that fairy tale and it well play out just that way!!!